Timing the Special Moments

With fathers having a greater role in raising the kids, they’ll be there for more of the "first" moments than in the past and Mom might be missing them instead.  Some of these things are unavoidable but it pays to think about those "firsts" than can be scheduled.  I believe that most mothers do miss the ability to be there for these instances and it can soothe a relationship if you pay attention.

It was fourteen years ago this Thanksgiving that my eldest had her first bite of solid food.  I remember this date as we were in a Naval Officer’s Club with relatives for a Thanksgiving meal with our first-born baby.  She’d been making headway in readiness for solid food but it didn’t occur to me that it was that soon; I excused myself to the restroom and returned to find Mom and Mother-in-law had decided to make the leap and the baby was happily finishing up her first green bean.  It wasn’t that she had taken the first bite, but the fact that the decision for this situation was made in my absence, that bothered me.  You can’t exercise great control over rolling over and the first steps, but the baby didn’t put the food in her own mouth.  Since then, I’ve tried to bear this experience in mind as we’ve moved forward with other firsts and other children.

A little forethought can make absence a bit more bearable for Mom.

Happy Thanksgiving and pass the green beans.

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