I was pleased to find out today that a young friend is now officially a father for the first time. I’ve known that it was coming and had the mother’s present ready but didn’t really know what to give the new father. What is a good gift for a new father?
Depending upon their circumstances, new parents can find themselves utterly awash in goods and items. There will be showers and various other gifting opportunities and a young couple can really stock up, but these are generally items for the family situation – blankets, towels, devices, supplies. Women will always be able to figure out something that’s for the new mother since many of them have either been through the pain of childbirth or have actually paid attention when their friends went through it. But what do you get for a guy?
Many products for guys are recreation oriented and while that’s nice, the reality is that such gifts help to draw the guy’s attention out of the household and away from the family. Golf clubs? They’re a great gift but that guarantees several hours at a time away from the home and family. Tools? Better, since they can serve a purpose that at least keeps the guy around the house. But some men just aren’t all that handy or into tools for the sake of tools. Except Bill, but he’s an exception. Today’s reality is that women are stretched between work and home and the kids desperately need love and attention more than anything so gifts that pull a father’s focus from the household is actually counterproductive. At the same time, men simply don’t have the same sensibilities as women and would look askance at the great majority of items that might please the mother.
So what to do?
As I ran errands the other weekend, the choice occurred to me as I passed a Tobaccionist’s shop and I stopped and purchased both a Cohiba and an Arturo Fuente for the new father. While I only occasionally smoke a cigar, it is true that a really good cigar is a different taste and experience; as the old saying goes a woman is a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. But I’ve had to wonder, what it is about cigars that has made them a time-tested fatherhood gift? Some psychologist somewhere might make a comment about phalluses and fatherhood but I do think that it’s different than that. Smoking a cigar is truly an aqcuired taste and one that requires a certain amount of practice and time to truly appreciate. It’s a truism that in previous times, fathers who wanted to break their kids of smoking would start them on a cigar. Certainly there are women who appreciate a good cigar but I simply think that a cigar is best appreciated by men and giving such an item is a nod to a guy’s finally taking that final step to the fullest aspect of manhood, being a father.
Come to think of it, perhaps I’ll send the Fuente and smoke the Cohiba myself.